This is an edit: so before I start this post I wanted to describe myself so you guys can get a picture in your head of what I look like.
I have long brown curly knotty hair with gold/blond at the ends. I am 5’4 and I weigh 129 so I’m a little chunky I guess. I have hazel brown eyes. My face is round and I have squishy cheeks. I have long legs and I’m tan. That’s about it really. Enjoy the post!
I have started a journal that I’m going to be writing in everyday, I’m excited to start it because when I’m older and have no problems and when I’m happy, I can go back and read it and just laugh at all my problems.
I would take pictures and post them here but I don’t think you could read it, every time I write I am super high on coffee and so my handwriting is so messy.
Anyways P is the new boy and everything is going great, with him.
I like him so much and I got to meet his mom but I was very nervous and weird and awkward so that is just great.
He is a great kisser, he has a great body, he is nice and funny and playful, he likes living life I guess you could say.
He isn’t the brown eyed boy though and yes that’s sounds bad and I don’t even know if I want anything with the brown eyed boy anymore, but I just, can’t help but love him still through everything…
The brown eyed boy actually commented on a post of P and just commented ha ha ha.. what does that mean?
Is he jealous or “salty” you could say.. or is he just laughing because he’s seen all the boys I’ve been with and he knows I still am in love with him. He knows it’s not going to work out and I still crave him.
I want it to work out with P though, I want a serious long relationship and I want endless love and a happy life.
Everything is confusing and hard and I don’t know what to do.
I am 0 days clean, I cut last night.
I just felt like it was a need, I had to, like it’s an addiction for relief, an addiction for a breath of air.
I hate it and I wish I hadn’t done it.
My life is just confusing right now so that’s it.
Goodbye for now little beautiful Ravens, remember to always fly high and stay absolutely stunning. ❤️